Grey Chase

Grey (Robert Edwin) Chase was born on February 1, 1947 to Lyda and Gene Chase, in South Charleston West Virginia, a small town dotted with chemical plants that spreads out along the southern bank of the Kanawha River. One of three boys, Grey’s homelife was not always peaceful, and school included regular doses of corporal punishment. He got by with help from friends, a paper route, his favourite breakfast of cherry pie and Pepsi, and the pinball machine at the corner store. His older brother Gary influenced him greatly, introducing Grey and his life-long friend Jonathan to Charlie Parker, abstract expressionism, and the enduring allure of exotic cars. The Appalachian hills and woods that surrounded the town were perfect for racing his motorcycle.

Grey attended a Christian university in Indiana and was drafted shortly after graduation. Notification that he was being deployed to Vietnam and assigned to long range reconnaissance – a posting with a very high mortality rate – was enough to convince him to desert. Grey was motivated less by politics or ideology than by a desire to live. Canada and Sweden were the options, both equally unfamiliar to him at the time. He chose Canada – primarily, he always said, because it meant he could drive there. He arrived in Ontario in 1969, and settled in Kitchener. With assistance from members of the local Mennonite community, Grey quickly settled and began working in child welfare, providing support to children and youth.

In the early 1970s, Grey managed to sneak across the border on a few occasions to visit his trusted brother Gary in Ohio. Only after the 1974 conditional pardon, a nerve-wracking surrender to a military base, and cleverly talking his way out of the two-year community service order that was imposed on deserters, was Grey free to enter the US. The Undesirable Discharge he eventually received became one of his most prized possessions.

Always ready for new adventures (and a long road trip), Grey moved to Victoria in the late 1970s. There too he formed many lasting friendships, and Nathan, his beloved English Bull Terrier, continued to be a great companion. Having earned a Master’s degree by then, Grey worked in B.C.as a therapist until his retirement in 2014.

Grey continued to enjoy travels and adventures - Yukon, Haida Gwaii, the Maritimes and many trips back to Ontario. With Elizabeth, he travelled in the UK where her son studied and taught. Grey rode a little motorcycle through Umbria, took the wrong train to meet Elizabeth in Pisa and learned (mostly) how to drive on the “wrong” side of the road in the UK. He and Elizabeth enjoyed getting to know and love her granddaughters in California and those little girls loved Grey.

Grey was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2018. Defying the odds, he lived longer than expected, and continued to find joy in his friends, music, and the nearby forest and ocean. His partner Elizabeth was steadfast in providing patient and compassionate care. Grey died on May 15, 2024 in Victoria BC, on his own terms – of course! – surrounded by love and music. Once again, he chose to leave behind a situation destined only to become much worse, opting instead to cross another border into an unknown and unknowable future.

Whether chasing the deal or the dream, in a fast car, kayak, motorcycle, or bicycle, Grey was truly an individual: tenacious and daring, stylish, and undeterred by convention or the opinions of others. Intimidated by little, he hitchhiked across Canada, drove to Panama and back, visited his goddaughter in Mexico, and explored the natural world around him with awe and appreciation.

Grey was a well-respected colleague and empathetic therapist. He made friends easily and kept them for decades; they loved him for his warmth, honesty, deep conversations, and loyalty. Grey was not afraid to talk about pain and darkness or to express his strong views. He was playful, creative and charming. His tears flowed freely, and his humour and laughter – often coming alongside one of his magnificent and memorable stories – could erupt at any time.

Many are richer for having known him. Grey will be deeply missed and always remembered.